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WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S fic

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Apr. 27th, 2008 | 10:02 pm
posted by: usedusername in slashclub

This is only jokingly slash, really. It's still there, but if it's found unsuitable for posting here, tell me and I'll remove it.

Incidentally, kind of, I ship Richard/Larry. Anyone?

Title: Fun on the Beach
Author: Usedusername
Warning: Jokes of necrophelia
Fandom: Weekend at Bernie's
Summary: Larry was bored.
Pairing/Characters: Larry/Bernie and Larry/Bernie/Girl. Larry, Richard, Bernie.
Spoilers: Er...The general plot of the movie.
Rating: PG-13, but close to PG.




Larry was bored. Painfully bored. Excruciatingly, nauseatingly, frighteningly--well, he was just plain bored. Richard still wanted to call the police, as a moral obligation. Larry loved the beach enough to abandon said morals until their host began rotting. This had somehow led to an argument where neither of them came out, truly, on top (though Larry was certain he'd won, given no police were swarming the beach). Both of them were annoyed, but neither of them had a real excuse to leave the other.

So they both sat on the deck of Bernie’s house and promptly ignored each other; Larry playing cards and Richard going over some figures he’d taken from work.

Larry sighed and slammed down his cards, frustrated. Richard glanced up briefly, before looking back down. Larry leaned forward, “Can you keep a secret?” Richard’s brow furrowed, and he, too, leaned forward.

“Sure, Larry, sure, what is it?”

“….I think I’m in love with Bernie.”

“Oh, that’s disgusting.” Richard stood abruptly to show just how disgusted he was. Larry rolled his eyes.

“C’mon, it’s funny. You think it’s funny, right, Bern?” Larry grabbed Bernie by the hair and nodded the corpse’s head, “See that? Bernie’s got a better sense of humor than you, and he’s…Well, really, he’s such a stiff.”

“No. It’s not funny. It’s sick. You’re mentally defective, you know that?”

“Sure, fine, whatever. You neck on what’s-her-face, Bernie and me are gonna go chat up some babes.” He hoisted Bernie by the waist and carried him awkwardly. Bernie’s head struck the ground as Larry started walking to the beach, “Never know, maybe we’ll have us a three-way, eh, Richard?” he called, then turned back to a group of girls strolling along the sand, “Ladies!”

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